Prayer

I realized that God’s will was not hidden somewhere ‘out there’ but that the situations that I found myself in were His will for me.

He wanted me to accept those situations as from His hands, to let go of the reins and place myself entirely at His disposal.

He was asking of me a total act of trust, allowing for no interference or restless striving on my part, no reservation, no exceptions, no areas where I could set conditions or hesitate.

He was asking a complete gift of self, nothing held back.

It demanded absolute faith in God’s existence, Providence, his concern for the minutest details, his power to sustain and protect me.

It meant losing that last hidden doubt, the fear that God will not bear you up.

Like the eternity between anxiety and belief when a child first lets go of all support--

only to find that the water truly holds him up and he can float motionless, and totally relaxed.