Jesus said to his disciples:

“For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.”

New Revised Standard Version, copyright 1989, by the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. USCCB approved.

As the mother of two young boys, I can attest that expecting either of them to “reconcile with their brother” can be a stretch after an argument. They usually get defensive about their point of view and rarely want to listen to the other’s perspective.

We’re not much better about this as adults, but Jesus explains that being reconciled with our brothers and sisters takes priority over bringing our gift to the altar. He is asking us to go beyond simply following the rules of religion and challenging us to do the hard work of loving our neighbor – that is, acting out of a love that seeks justice, makes peace, and empathizes with others, including our enemies.

We are called to reflect: Are we performing our faith? Or are we living into our faith within our families and communities, messy and imperfect as they may be?

Reconciliation is restoration of a relationship. So often it is less about the other person and more about setting ourselves free from the weight of anger or resentment. When we make that room available in our hearts, God rushes in to fill the space with love that heals.

—Kristy C. Parrish works at the University of Alaska Fairbanks and is the former principal of Immaculate Conception School in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Lord Christ, help us to see what it is that joins us together, not what separates us. For when we see only what it is that makes us different, we too often become aware of what is wrong with others. We see only their faults and weaknesses, interpreting their actions as flowing from malice or hatred rather than fear. Even when confronted with evil, Lord, you forgave and sacrificed yourself rather than sought revenge. Teach us to do the same by the power of your Spirit.

—William Breault, SJ